Crazy Child

LOOK at how my daughter loves to sleep.  She is such a nut!  She refuses to be laid down in her crib, she sits until she gets sleepy, then just slumps forward.  No, I do not let her stay like this, I go in and lay her down once she is soundly asleep.  What a goofball! 

I Swear, She Says "Mama"

Though she adamantly refuses to in this video  : )
But I have officially cataloged her first word as "mama" because she repeats it, and looks for me when other people say it. It really blows my mind.  My friend Kelly put it perfectly:  she still looks like a baby, but does big kid stuff.  Sometimes I can't believe how she motors around, processes information, and generally outsmarts me.  I guess I was thinking she wouldn't have cognitive skills until she was a teenager?  She is already shaking her head "no"; like when I want a kiss.  But then she turns right to grandpy and kisses him. *sigh*.  And the other day, I was lying in the way of her crawling path.  She sat up and assessed the situation, discovered the way around the coffee table was clear, and crawled back the length of the living room to go around it.  As I watched her through the underside of the table, she giggled at me.  Little stinker.  There is so much more, and every day I am reminded of how smart she already is.  It is so neat to watch, and I love seeing her develop into a little person.

Don't You Remember Being Obsessed With This as a Kid?

I do.

I'mNotReadyI'mNotReadyI'mNotReady

CHECK this out.

Yesterday was quite a day.  The morning started with Lydia going from lying down to sitting BY HERSELF.  Then, as I was fixing her breakfast, she lovingly cooed "mama" from her high chair (I am not putting this in the books as her first word, she has yet to repeat it.  It's usually something more like: "mamamamama").  And as I took this video of her motoring across the floor (she was after the yogurt Caesar was eating), I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed.  Mommy anxiety is in high gear now that she is mobile.  I am so proud of her for being strong and smart, and growing as she should be.  However, my mommy vigilance seems weak against the odds that have stacked up against me.  She can now get herself into unforeseeable danger before I can even blink.  It's a stark difference from the days when I could leave her on my bed while I used the restroom because she was going nowhere.  I know, I know - I shouldn't have left her unattended on a piece of furniture even then.  But gone are the days where I could cut corners relatively comfortably due to her complete immobility. 
This is so much more than a milestone.  This is the beginning of a new time for Lydia and I - the passover from sweet newborn days to uncharted toddler territory.  Every mom connects to her child in different ways in different stages.  I think I will always cherish Lydia's time as a newborn because I was soothed by the ease of it.  Not having much previous contact with children, I feared ignorance on how to actually raise one.  I was delighted to find that the first months of her life were fueled by pure instinct, which no amount of experience could have ever taught me.  I loved it, I was good at it, and I made Lydia promise me she would always stay a newborn.
It was a promise never meant to be kept; a running joke that will probably always be fondly remembered as she continues to reach and pass milestones.  I can't believe how fast this time has gone.  I want to stop the universe for a year or two so I can hold onto every precious moment.  It's not possible to stop Lydia's development, and I wouldn't want to.  I look forward to seeing the intelligent, thoughtful, kind, tenacious, strong, happy, healthy, sassy, buoyant, dynamic, beautiful individual she blossoms into....
But I can wait.